Josie runs around the living room in a diaper while wearing her tiara. We're going to have a major crisis with this fashion statement.

when the baby slept in her crib, I could fall asleep on the sofa watching TV during Becky's business trips. But now I can't since I need to hear the creak of Josie's door opening at 6 a.m. so she doesn't attempt the stairs so early. I miss being a creature of habit.

nap?

In a miracle moment, Josie climbed on the sofa and fell asleep. Her leg is dangling off. I'd slide it on the cushion, but I swear it's tempting fate.

Urban Tales

Like Bloody Mary; if you repeat the name of a sleeping baby, they will magically appear.

Ready for the Wheel

Josie can recognize several letters including "J." I figure if I work on her skills, I can have her working as my copy editor by the time I wrap up the WalMart Greeter book.

How can she not like destruction?

We're tearing apart the family room of the new house yanking off old paint and wallpaper. You'd figured a child in the middle of the terrible twos would have a field day yanking, but no. She suspects we're trying to put her to work.

sleep weirdness

When putting Josie to bed, I find myself intrigued by the new things she has to say in the dark. I want to know what's really going on and if I can make sense of her words. She speaks with fractures of nursery rhymes, TV phrases, odd stuff we've said and then perhaps jibberish. I almost don't want her to go to sleep, but that defeats the whole purpose of putting her to bed.

No mug

I was informed that Josie didn't make it down to buy me a "World's Greatest Dad" coffeemug. In it's place, my wife has promised to change all the diapers on Father's Day. I'm tempted to wake up Josie and feed her blue berries for the next three hours. Is that considered evil?

Missin'

Since it's impossible to put Josie in the crib since she can climb out, we have to help her fall to sleep in her big bed. This means one of us lays next to her until she's completely snoozing. Wednesday night was a complete disaster since every time I thought she was lights out, she would wake up with my shifting to escape the room. It got so bad that I missed nearly the entire game 7 between the Bruins and Canucks. I got downstairs just in time to catch the last few minutes the Bruins finally winning the Stanley Cup. While this was monumental since the Bs hadn't clinched the title since I was a little kid, I wasn't going to run upstairs and wake the baby so she could see it. I'll just lie and say I did. Isn't it good enough for her to catch the highlights on the 6 a.m. SportsCenter?

Last night I ended up falling asleep at the same time she nodded out. How can I be so sure? Cause she didn't try to scream "Wake up Audrey!" By the time I woke up, I had missed the Redsox-Rays game. Since Daily Show was a rerun, I just went back to bed in my bed. Thus when she woke up at 6 a.m., I was ready to feed her instead of coaxing her to sleep another hour.

Damn this child for attempting to convert me to being a morning person.

Evil Teaching

During Josie's b-day weekend, my brother-in-law decided to "teach" her how to scream "Wake Up, Audrey!" and poke people until they do. He did it often at the cabin to Josie's cousin Audrey. This is just pure evil since it's all Josie likes to do now. If you're barely slumbering on the sofa, she'll race over, scream and shake. She won't stop till she sees the white of your eyes.

You know how hard it is to get a little nap around here? And now she's turned it into her excuse to make everyone stay up as long as her? Today at 4 a.m., she came into our bedroom screaming "Wake up Audrey!"

I'm planning my revenge. His child will learn something that will be of equal destructive power. Perhaps I'll just teach him to shout out their PIN number while at the bank?

my worst nightmare

Josie has figured how to escape her crib. Today was the first time in over a year where the weekday naptime is a fail. I miss my two hours of sanity.

Why does the government refuse to let me stick her in a giant dog kennel as a crib? Why do they want to make me the bad guy cause I treat my kid like a waif in a Harry Potter mean parent story?

Bronx Cheer

We took Josie to see the Pawtucket Redsox play the Durham Bulls. She didn't care much, but she got to watch Oki in the bullpen. She was more excited about playing in Wool E. Bullland. it's the bouncy house jungle gym insanity. The joy of her time inside was when she went up against the mesh and booed at a dad wearing a Yankees t-shirt. I was so proud of the baby. Someday she'll be able to say, "A-Rod, you suck!" Then the tears will flow as I'll be the luckiest dad on the planet.

Time Traveller

Josie is now addicted to Sid and Marty Krofft's The Bugaloos. It's about a quartet of singing kids with wings. She loves her small puppet people. I do fear when she hangs out with little kids they're not going to have a clue what she watches since these shows are older than their parents.

Life and Death

Saturday up at the lake we celebrated Josie turning two. It was fun with lots of her relatives up for cake and ice cream. Once more I remember the rule of waiting until afterward to buy her things since odds are high someone will give it to her. We had lined up a tricycle and it turned up thanks to her grandmother. It's kinda like that crummy "The Secret" book except your wishing for someone else to get something.

The day after the party Becky decides to tell me that our pal Barron has killed himself. Normally such news would sadden me. Except Barron had been a mess for most of the decade with his drinking and constant talk of suicide that it was as if she said Barron had renewed his subscription to Sports Illustrated. But then she hit me with the uglier news that he might have been dead for nearly two weeks in his foreclosed condo. As Josie sat on my lap while we stared at the lake, I realized that I was in a good place. That I couldn't cash out at this point because the kid needs me. She might drive me nuts, but never insane.

Noggin

Took Josie to her two year check up. Turns out she is of normal height and weight. But her head is in the 95th percentile. She's got a melon on top. I think this is the reason why she identifies with the cast of Super Why.