Bedtime treats

While tucking Josie into bed, she grabs my neck tight and screams "Open sesame!" This is what I get for letting her watch Dexter before she was a year old.

injected fate

The child is obsessed by Barbie. I thought I'd have until she was 4 before this phase kicked in. I'm stuck putting little clothes on plastic. Did I mention I have 2 college degrees? Neither involves mini-clothes for little women.

School Days

We've decided to enroll Josie into a pre-school program for 2 year olds. The class is only twice a week for a little over 4 hours. She needs to get a little more used to social skills and realizing how to share since I've created a bit of a holy terror. We found a place around the corner and took her over for a visit.

While you always hear stories of kids crying and clinging like spider monkeys, Josie just ran into the classroom, took a seat and started coloring a picture. She pretty much forgot we existed. She also didn't pay much attention to the teachers until they announced circle time. That got her excited since we read about it in a Blue's Clues book. While we talked to the head of the pre-school, we let Josie head over to the music class to see how she'd do with us gone. Once more, no issue except she wanted her blankie. Even then she didn't complain that long. She went nuts when we had to take her home.

I ought to just send her to West Point now.

More lies being spread by Big Toy Inc.

http://vitals.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/10/18/8381786-kids-under-2-should-play-not-watch-tv-doctors-say

Kids under 2 shouldn't watch TV? So toddlers should miss out on the new episodes of the Walking Dead and Dexter? What are we going to talk about at dinner if they're merely playing with their toys?

Understanding her

"Good idea, daddy" is now her favorite words to do her bidding. She's learning how to make things sound like your idea. What a planter.

Prepare to meet your maker

While tucking in the child, she started playing the "make up" game. This means she takes a pillow, screams make up and hits me in the head. It's my own fault for letting her learn about slapstick at 6 months old. This time after a few pops, she grabbed the pillow with both hands. put it over my face and let her full weight push it down. In the darkness, I had the strange sensation that this is going to be my future when she's ready to collect my life insurance policy.

Although in a positive light, if I ever end up like McMurphy, she'll be my Big Chief to put me out of my misery.

Already working th system

I ask her if she had knocked over the waste paper basket.

"Prove it," was her quick reply.

I'm in for a world of pain.

figured it out

We've been calming down the kid with dose of Caillou before bathtime. I think I've figured out what is really happening. See Caillou is the only bald kid on the show. Even his dad has a full head of Rick Springfield hair. The truth is that Caillou is sick. Everyone seems really slow and nice cause he's on thorozine. It's all through his eyes.

I'm not complaining cause it does chill her out.

Putin

The toddler calls herself Josie Bean which makes sense since that's kinda what we called her after referring to her as Butterbean while she was an unknown gender. But what's interesting is that she calls us Mommybean and Daddybean. I think she's figuring Moneyball is about us since it tells the tale of Billy Beane. Hope she doesn't wonder why Brad Pitt isn't coming for Festivus.