How old am I?

Josie keeps asking if I watched Disney Jr. shows when "daddy was a little boy." How do I explain how I didn't see Little Einsteins when I was a little boy on a the portable DVD player in the car? I do what I normally do and lie. No need to shock the system.

Matching Game

Josie points out that we both have bones in our elbows so we match.

The price of Med School is going to kill us.

Can it kill me?

The child is back to watching Dora the Explorer. Boots the Monkey keeps staring at me as if he's ready to kill me when I fall asleep. I don't trust that monkey that has to wear boots yet no diaper.

Devoted to me

Josie's teacher said that this morning, the kid asked her classmates to prayer for me since I shouted at her. She left out the part that it involved her screaming when she wouldn't go to bed at 10 p.m. and I took away her magic flashlight? The teacher did ask, if I asked her something and she didn't listen to me. Josie confessed that might have been an issue. Good to know someone is sticking up for me.

Although it is good to know she's praying to me and not finking me out to social services.

Fear of Disney

How do you explain to a kid that you're not taking them to Disney until they're old enough to ride everything that matters. It's going to be loud enough when she gets done with a ride and wants to go again. I fear the meltdown when she can't even get on a ride.

Guest Stars

Tonight we discussed "Waiting for Christmas." Josie insisted one page is devoted to the Power Rangers fighting. The price of the production has just soared.

Novel idea

Josie informs me that she's working on a book called "The Waiting for Christmas."

"It will have pictures of sun and snow." We're working on the plot.

That strange feeling

I wake up this morning and have this strange numb feeling in my foot. I figured this was from sleeping funny so I try to walk it off on the way to the bathroom. The sensation doesn't change. I panic slightly and look down to see the problem. One of Josie's Sleeping Beauty stickers has attached to the top of my foot. I peel it off and feel normal.

Kids are bad for your health.

Doc sickens Dora

Doc McStuffin is now a bigger hit for pre-schoolers than Dora the Explorer. Well it doesn't hurt that it seems to play every hour on Disney Jr. with Jake and the Neverland Pirates.

Of course both shows pale next to the biggest show watched by pre-schoolers: Breaking Bad. Kids like the blue.

You left your kid where?

Thanks to the guy who left his baby at a strip club in Florida, I'm not the worst father in the world this week.