I swear the kid is playing dumb with me. I think she knows exactly what I'm saying and will keep up this front until she hits 40.

a man's brain

Why is every song I hum from one of Josie's kiddie shows? I need to hear Hall & Oates "Maneater" to get it stuck in my head again.

Bad Timing Break Throughs

The kid now understands the concept of names. She said, "Name is Josie. Name is Mommy. Name is Daddy" while pointing. All this was great except it happened in church. It's a start towards her attempt to be a three year old preacher and get her own show on TV like Marjoe Gortner.

heels should never touch the ground

The kid likes to walk around on her tip topes and declare "Big Josie."

I've raised a stripper.....

A Clue

why does it creep me out that in the middle of the night during a pitch black moment, Josie shouts out repeatedly, "It happened!" Is she like a psychic creepy movie child? Are zombies about to eat me? Why can't she elaborate?

Not quite yours

Today Josie attempted to upgrade her "blue mermaid" toothbrush for a mermaid doll by trading with a little boy at the pool. Trouble is the doll didn't belong to the kid. But that didn't stop her from waving bye bye at the toothbrush and splashing away with her temp toy.

Royalty

Until further notice, the toddler shall be called Princess Josie. Let the kid watch one episode of Toddlers and Tiaras and she gets an attitude.

who is in the well?

Josie has spent the last five minutes shouting, "It happened!!!" She refuses to explain what happened. This is like trying to talk to Lassie - if the dog knew a little English.

The Future

The Hooters Casino just filed for bankruptcy. What hope is there now for kids to have reliable jobs in 16 years?

little pool time

There is no such thing as a heard "No" when it comes to a toddler approaching a kiddie pool. Why do I delude myself thinking there is an adult understanding when it comes to such things.

You know that moment when you swear the kid has fallen asleep and then someone decides to call after 9 p.m. with news that could have been emailed? And then the kid snaps out of drifting asleep and I'm stuck with another hour of working her back down till she passes out?

Well I'm keep a list of who does it and I'll be returning your call as soon as your toddler is making the transition out of the crib.

Unpacking and Repacking

Should I really be singing Wheels on the Bus with pigs, monkeys and cows as passengers? Am I making the kid think we live in Hooterville?

who bought her all these toys?

As pick up the massive amounts of toys that Josie have spread all over the family room, I start thinking that I should cut back on buying her so much stuff....until it hits me that we have pretty much only bought her a glow worm doll. It takes a Village to raise a child and that village has a Toys R Us next to the well.