Father of the Year Application Please

She hates airports

Josie knows that the airport is not a fun trip if only mom puts a suitcase in the car.

Surround Scare

If you really want to get the full effect of Paranormal Activity 2, watch the DVD while your baby is napping and the hall closet door keeps popping open. You'll appreciate the film even more.

Although I don't think a demon would stick around here if Josie went into full shriek mode. She can upset a bowling alley with her high notes.

How dare she!

While driving around in the car, Josie stuck her hands over her ears when Robyn Hitchcock's "Madonna of the Wasps" was playing on the stereo. I think this is our first time of the "Dad, why can't you play cool music" moment. Thankfully she didn't demand any Wiggles tracks. I flipped over to Devo where she actually screamed her version of "Whip It." Guess she just can't handle flakey British cult stars. Maybe she'd like the Soft Boys better?

poke

Why does an ad for the Cayman islands promising a trip to Stingray City sound like a threat I'd use on the kid if she doesn't clean her plate?

And haven't stingrays lost their fun image after they killed the Croc Hunter?

Panda Dad Vs. Tiger Mom!

Now on the Today Show they have some father passing himself off as Panda Dad, the archenemy of Tiger Mom. His resume includes raising his kids in China while his wife worked as a journalist. What's up with raising kids with Chinese Connections? Is this a nurturing process or a Bruce Lee clone flick? I raise your Tiger Mom and Panda Dad with my Cobra Care! Each day I teach Josie to sweep the leg! No excuses.

My raised by Wolves method appears to be working well. She can now hum-sing along with the HR Pufnstuf theme. Think Tiger Mom and Panda Pappy's brats pulled that off at 22 months?

I want that

Josie insists they make toy sized giraffes like the one in the Direct TV ad. She keeps pointing at the screen and begging for one. Time for break out the gene grafting kit I stashed under the sofa.