Your name is Toby

The child insists we call here Twilight Sparkle.

Damn you My Little Pony!

Bouncing

We take Josie out to the pumpkin farm that's part amusement park. She spent what must of been an hour bouncing on a giant inflatable pillow. I miss back when I could do something so goofy for so long and not caring.

Stinky Feet

Why must the kid keep sniffing my slipper and yelling "Stinky Feet! Pe-ew!" It's not going to change odor. I hope this doesn't lead to her viewing Al Bundy as a role model.

I'm not that old

Why does a three year old ask, "Do you remember Queen Victoria?"

Not that way

Explaining to the kid why you have to keep the top of an open cup up is like teaching a fish about gravity.

"Can you repeat that slower?"
"No!" She says. "Not slower - louder!" she screams at me.

Big Words

I'm confused where my daughter is picking up and properly using really big words. Is she listening to NPR when I'm out of the room after she tortures me with the singing bear in the blue house CD?