Is this illegal?

The shopping cart seat warns it's not for kids over 48 months old and 35 pounds. But her legs still fit through the holes. I hope she doesn't get carded and weighed by the shopping cart police.

A week?

Only one more week until Josie enters 4 year old preschool. Only one more week. And yet it feels like a year away as she whines away the morning. Serenity now.

No Tears Over Toys

I took her to Toys "R" Us which she kept calling Toys "4" Us. Amazingly enough she got one toy that was the amount on her gift card and left without throwing a fit. I need to mark this date for posterity. There, I did it.

Instant Wings for Preschoolers!

"Daddy, I want Red Bull!" demands my 4 year old daughter who has no lacking of energy.

"Why do you need Red Bull?"

"Cause Red Bull gives you wings and wings would make me a fairy!" she deduced.

Thanks marketing genius at Red Bull for allowing my kid to imagine guzzling your "energy drink" will let her be a fantasy character. You've made my trips to the grocery stores just a little bit of bigger headache as I explain that advertising lies.

She said it.

"When I make new colors, they burn like fire."

My child is ready for her own PBS painting show.

Let them scream it out? You need sleep too.

There's a new article out claiming that you just need to let a kid cry it out when it comes to bedtime. While I agree with the premise, the execution isn't that simple. See it isn't about the kid crying it out, it's about the parents trying to get to sleep.

Josie had the most amazing ability to be able to scream for hours. She would take a break and give a false sense of hope that we could get back to sleep. But as soon as you got that drifting feeling, she'd get her next round of screaming started and end it all. There was no way to just sleep through her 140 dB sonic attack. It would be like trying to get sleep during a Nina Hagen concert.

Maybe I could buy this whole article if it also came with instructions on how to soundproof your bedroom so you can sleep through a carpet bombing attack. Social services frowns on parents who put their kid to bed and drive off to the nearby Holiday Inn Express for a good night's rest.

Shopping Cart Blues

Just realized at Aldi that you shouldn't put a kid in the seat part of a shopping cart past 48 months and 35 pounds. Josie is past each of those benchmarks. I still remember the shock of having to no longer just rest her in the cart using the carrying case. Now another trauma for me as I lose my ability to restrain the child at the supermarket. Now I get to live in fear of all the lower items at the checkout.