So we're watching the show where Brit chef Jamie Oliver attempts to get the fine folks of Hunnington, West Virginia to eat a little better. What amazed me was a scene in the elementary school where these little kids couldn't identify a tomato or potato. They knew pizza, hamburger and french fries. But the sight of a non-processed produce confused them.

I refuse to let my kid be as clueless as them. While she might not know it is a Roma or grape tomato, she'll have a clue that it is a tomato. And she'll know what a potato is. I'm not going to blame the school system so much as the parents of these kids for not taking the time out to either point out the various real foods at the grocery store or maybe they just don't serve them at home. Maybe it is all hot pockets, frozen tv dinners and McDonalds on the dinner table. I don't want to sound like a health nut, but I wasn't completely raised on that crap. Mom served up real food most of the time. I have zero intention on short cutting my own kid's diet with last minute fixes for long term dining.

Before I let her on the bus to kindergarten, she will have to tell me which is a tomato and that the other is a potato.

Gimme Land

We can no longer advertise the baby as Free Range Josie since the first doorway fence has been installed to keep her stuck in the living room. She didn't appreciate us looking out for her.

ouch me noggin

While it's great to have a babysitter so I can go out and enjoy a party, what I really need is a babysitter so i can stay in bed and recover the next day.

growin pain

why is 3 am when the baby wakes up after growing?

Reality Show Audition Tape

Role Reversal

While getting Josie out of her crib, she started shouting "mama." This lead to a weird wondering if she wanted my wife to get her or if I'm the mama.

To Rim

It's the first day of the NCAA tourney and the baby seems less than enthusiastic about it. You'd figured she'd at least be asking me when we're going to get hotwings.

ice pops

it's so warm outside that I can now give the baby ice cubes in this weird mash ring thing. in a few years she'll graduate to freezer pops and have her favorite flavors. Right not she just gets the ultimate vanilla flavor - cold water flavored.

that's not how it works!

So it's "Spring Forward" time which means the illusion of the extra hour. This should mean the baby's usual 7 a.m. wake up scream should come at 8 a.m. under the new clock. But no! She wakes up at 6:30 a.m. that's 5:30 a.m. What is wrong with this child? Why can't she suffer jet lag like the rest of us?

Ah yes

Today will be spent with my two favorites: the baby and the 65" HDTV. Luckily I don't have to declare a favorite.

That Look

Once more Becky has gone on a business trip and the mother in law took the baby up the lake. I fear seeing her since she's going to give me that expression of "I'm not really an orphan?"

clap off

The baby has begun to clap. I sit there teaching her to hold her hands in different positions to sound louder. And then I begin rhythms. She has yet to master "The Kane" = the forced clap that tries to get the crowd to applaud at a horrible moments. She's not quite there, but I think part of that is her not understanding what really stinks.

Don't Call List

at 9:20 p.m., Dan decides to call to give me the business about not being nominated for an Oscar. All I can hear is the baby waking up and screaming her head off from the phone ringing.

Here's a little rule for the 21st century. If you have urgent news that involves a major emergency, you can call after 9 p.m. But if you just want to talk, email me with a phone number that I can call. The ringer must be on your end of the line.

Dad's Day In

In a strange twist, I ended up with Josie at a friend's house with a bunch of dads and their babies. It's strange to watch little kids "play" since most of them just seem into bumping into each other. It was nice to see that Josie is still a social creature although mostly she waved at people and attempted to pull herself up on toddlers that can stand unassisted.

The moms were off at a birthday dinner so they can have a night without the kids. But wait, I'm the one who takes care of the kid all week. I should have had the margurita action. Instead I got to play sport the baby.

Look in the mouth

After months of waiting, Josie finally has a tooth poking up. Just a little chicklet above the gum. She's like a hockey player in reverse.

brooklyn boozy babies

While I enjoy taking the baby to Hooters, I found this article about people taking their babies to bars in Brooklyn disgusting.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/03/02/brooklyn.babies.in.bars/index.html?hpt=C1

That baby looks twice as drunk as her father. She's probably messed up on fumes from daddy's pint glasses. When I was a kid we had a name for people who took their kids to bars at random hours: DRUNKS. This was a badge of honor to drag a toddler into a bar.

Am I a hypocrite because I take the baby to Hooters and see these Brooklyn parents as losers? No. Because Hooters serves real food. It's a restaurant. I'm not parking my baby's stroller at the front of a bar like it's a kiddie ride at Disney World. I'm not taking my kid to a pure alcohol palace. I don't need adults to worry that their watering hole is being used as a daycare.

Ultimately I don't want my kid jaded by telling others how a certain bar was better when she was 4 years old. This Brooklyn attitude is what created Paris Hilton. Think that Dad in the article wants his little girl turning into an E! reality show star?

not that!

The baby appears to understand how to punch buttons on the cable remote. She's becoming just like me.