After watching Julia & Julie, I've decided the best thing to do with my blog to get major action is to link it to a famous person. Since I've been told that giving fathering tips to Rooney is a bad option, I'm going to share advice with father to be Neil Patrick Harris. I've never met or interviewed the guy. I have no clue if he needs my advice. But I figure who doesn't want advice from a stranger? He's got twins on the way so he's going to need twice the meddling tips. But here is the first thing:
A newborn baby cries for 4 reasons.
The first is they're hungry. They have tiny tummies and need them constantly filled. They hate the sensation of hunger since for their existence, they've been pumped nutrients from their mother's system.
The second is they've pooped in their diaper. Now this is a tricky thing because while hungry is the first reason, a pooped diaper is the faster issue to detect. It only takes a quick butt sniff to know. Detecting a hungry baby requires a visit to the kitchen to mix up the formula or heat up the cold milk. So sniff before thinking bottle.
The third is they want human contact. Babies like to be held sometimes. They like the warmth of your skin. Eventually as they grow older, this focuses onto the warmth of your wallet.
The fourth is they want a new Mercedes. Do not give into this desire. Once you cave the first time, the baby is going to use and abuse you.
I hope Neil Patrick Harris and other expectant fathers follow this simple tip. You might want to print this out in glow in the dark ink so you can run down the check list at 4 a.m. without turning on the lights.
No comments:
Post a Comment