the naptime song

It's Naptime for the Baby
Naptime for the Baby
It's Naptime for the Baby
So she can be well rested
For When Mommy comes home!

I sing this so she's knows it's not bedtime

The Trooper

So I'm scraping the snow/ice out of the parking space before the wife comes home. I bring along the baby to slip around on the wintery surface. As a treat, I give her the snow shovel. She does a little scrapping and gives up. She grabs my hand and tugs me to the front door. I figure we're done for the day. She's had enough of the cold. But no! She gets to the top of the steps and grabs the broom and the car brush. She begins wiggling back down the stairs. She wants to keep up the cleaning. We do a little more in the space before mom comes home.

Sounds like we'll have someone ready to rake leaves.in the fall.

but it's cold!

While taking out the diaper pail last night, the baby insisted she come onto the snow covered deck to "help" me. After a few minutes, she seemed ready to come in, but damned if she didn't scream for half an hour wanting to go back into the snowy, cold night. Why don't babies know that this is how you get sick and thus scream even longer cause they feel bad?

When does self-preservation instinct kick in?

today's Sesame Street had Michael McKean and Anna Farris. This means the baby wants to watch Spinal Tap and Smiley Face this afternoon.

Child's play

nothing says, "Wha?" like the glue that came with the kid's toy box that featured the warning "This product contains chemicals known to the state of California to cause defects or other reproductive harm." Merry Christmas from China!!!

Second Christmas

We bring the baby down for her second Christmas. Instead of being excited to tear apart wrapped presents, she's demanding a cookie for breakfast and then ignores us while dancing along to the end credit song to "Three's Company."

This is the last "quiet Christmas" until she decides to go to Paris for the holidays in 2029.

Too Early

The baby woke up at 4:30 a.m. on Christmas Eve. Had to explain to her that you can't come down and get your gifts from Santa 28 hours early.

She still hasn't a clue about the holiday. Guess we're in for the big shock next year. Is it too late to make her think we're Amish?

The Big Crib

They're showing a special on a nursery unit at a Nebraska prison. Guess my child can't complain that she's been raised in a small space.

it was so much easier to clean up for Festivus when the baby couldn't lift heavy stuff

Look Out

josie tried to drag me into the kitchen while keeping her eyes on Fraggle Rock, she went straight into the sofa arm. She didn't even look at what she hit. Just backed up and kept going while seeing what these muppets were doing.

Weird Viewing

I've noticed the baby seems to stop what she's doing to watch commercials and then she'll go back to playing when the regular programming resumes. I think it's merely because of the freakish music and not her craving to be a rampant consumerist.

At least that's what my bank account hopes.

Can Your Wrap It?

People keep asking me what the baby wants for Christmas. They ask about games and toys. And I'm at a complete loss. Right now her favorite "toy" is getting all three of my pen cups and constantly reorganizing them. Moving pens and markers from the plastic cup to the ceramic cups. Her second favorite game involves shifting around a jar full of buttons. I don't think Toys-R-Us stocks these in the toddler section.

I don't really want anyone contributing to her fun since both activities require constant supervision from me to make sure she doesn't swallow buttons or redecorate the house with Sharpies.

What's that Lassie

While making brownies this afternoon, I learned two things about the baby. First she had gotten into a drawer and pulled out ketshup packets from McDonald's. Without me noticing it, they somehow ended up behind the heel of my slipper. I stepped back and felt the tell-tale pfffffft. The red sauce had shot across the room onto the garbage can and the wall. My daughter looked as innocent as possible as I grabbed a bunch of towels to keep her from spreading the mess.

In my frustration I looked at her and said, "Get the squirty bottle." That's what we have the clean up fluid inside. She bolted out of the kitchen and into the living room. A couple seconds later she returned with the squirty bottle and put it in front of me. She did understand what I wanted. And it was a rather complicated concept.

I felt proud as I finished cleaning. Then I had a fearful thought: What does she know that she's not letting on about?

The open door policy

now that the playpen has been packed up, I no longer have the easy confinement space for when I have to use the bathroom. This creates a new sense of battleplans when nature calls and the wife is away. Lately I've turned on Sesame Street via OnDemand and crack the door. There's probably a proper way to do such things, but the sit and spy method so far works. Although sometimes she will come over and shut the door. She wants her privacy.

Pop

The baby got sick on Monday morning. The nice part is that she was going in for her 18 month check up so we got 2 doctor visits for the price of one. Nothing too dramatic in the treatment. She had a minor fever, smokers cough and snot.

The amazing thing was how she could blow a snot bubble that was bigger than I can get a gum bubble. There ought to be a competition for largest. She could go against Kurt Bevacqua.