for the grown ups

today's Elmo word featured a taxi driven by a muppet with a mohawk. they vamped the main Taxi Driver theme, I don't think Josie caught the DeNiro element. she's more into Raging Bull.

My child

There was a strange thrill that while I played The Damned's "Smash It Up," the baby kept drawing in her coloring book while banging her head to the beat. She doesn't do this to the Wiggles.

That's not good

josie has decided that pants are optional.

I think she's part Kennedy

Dining Out

In order to enjoy our pal's birthday dinner at the Brathaus, we dumped Josie off at my folks' house. This was the first time we'd done it. Seemed it worked out since she spent the hours playing with my old toys from back in the 20th Century. Nothing made noise, but she didn't seem to care. She enjoyed the wooden puzzles that didn't have little handles. Mostly she dug the Sesame Street toys including a finger puppet of Roosevelt Franklin. Remember him?

Dinner tasted so much better since I didn't have to chase the child around the waitress station. We're already plotting another dinner out with the kid spending time with Nana and Grandpa even if it's merely to the McDonald's around the corner.

Getting Jiggy

While up at the lake, my mother-in-law was practicing writing with Josie. She had her attempting to write her name "JO-Z." I couldn't help but wonder if she's too young to have a rap name. Soon she'll have to decide if she's going to be a crip or blood. At least she has experience with her diaper hanging low and full.

What?

during tonight's hockey, one of Becky's co-workers tells me that her friend just bought 5 VIP tickets to see the Imagination Movers. They're a third rate Monkees rip-off watered down to appeal to Disney ethics. But the shock is each VIP ticket is $118. Sure you get to go backstage and have a "party" with the guys. But that's nearly $600 to party. Her kid is 18 months old. I don't like to burst people's bubble, but your 18 month old isn't going to give a crap about what you took her to see cause she won't be remembering it when she turns 3.

Sure I got excited taking Josie to meet Mr. McFeely from Mister Rogers, but he was free at a library. I'm not burning her college fund for a kiddie show. Although I'd probably pay $120 if Josie could get backstage and party with Lemmy from Motorhead. He'd be impressed by Josie's scream and it'd be cool if I get her to sing "Ace of Spades."

Note that there are regular tickets in the $20 range if you don't want to party backstage.

No Record

A three year old in Great Britain was put into rehab for his alcoholism. Of all the records that I know the baby could nab to get into the Guiness Book, this is one I'll skip. My fame hungry daddy image has a limit. Although what is the record for world's youngest baby to ride a moped with the fattest twins?

Bribe me!

Why didn't Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day products give me a Target giftcard to plug their junk? Don't they think I have low ethical standards? I'm going to have a talk with Mr. Meyer about his wife. Or maybe he's fearful that I'll seduce her with my daddy talk?

You Wanna Piece of Me?

The kid now likes to yank off the top of her onesie and walk around with it around her waist. I can't help but remember some pro wrestler from the '70s that would do this after working himself into a frenzy.

Support the Street

I've had it with the GOP attacking PBS because somehow they think Sesame Street ought to be a victim of the Free Market and not given a little tax payer funding.

Yet at the same time, these same Congressmen go nuts if I demand that the taxpayers quit sponsoring a NASCAR team for nearly $10 million. Because somehow a car going around a track 200 times is National Defense, but the Count telling kids in Alabama that there's more numbers than they have fingers isn't that important. Remind me again how many billions we've shipped off to Iraq and Afghanistan over the last decade that has just vanished from the books? And Big Bird is the problem?

Just remember that the free market is currently having ZERO issues with putting cadmium in your child's toys because it's cheaper than lead. Even when it was shown to be in Miley Cyrus jewelry, WalMart waited three months to pull it off the shelf - because that's what the free market does.

timing

is it just me or do the guys who are the Wiggles come off as if they merely videotaped the camera walk thru? They're like the Monkees on cough syrup.

tricky wording

How do I ask a mommy at Rhyme Time if she'd like to have a playdate without it sounding like it's kids optional?

she's got the beat

Josie now claps at the right time when I sing "If You're Happy and You Know It." Now we must work on the drum solo for Wipeout.