almost 2

Today is the second anniversary of when Becky called from work and said she needed to be taken to the hospital. Her water had broke. Even though it was 2 weeks before the due date, Josie decided to pull a hurry up and wait. She didn't get out until the next morning. Two years? My memories of that night involve confusion, somewhat helping becky with her struggle and that really nice HDTV. I got to watch Ice Road Truckers and Pitchmen and Battlestar Galactica inbetween asking if there was anything I could do besides hold her hand and not point out that my other hand held the TV remote.

After two years, my life has been changed a bit. The biggest part if discovering that I no longer sleep according to my own desires. Today I was up at 6:45 a.m. How can I be the father of a morning person? Even when she's at her grandma's house, I wake up early wondering why she hasn't woken me up.

The Love Bug

The hidden gender baby made it on the Today Show....kinda. They just ran the newspaper pics. I'm not going to guess the gender, but I swear it's the reincarnation of Buddy Hackett.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/#43179739

Really? You think this is a great idea?

A goofy couple decided that they're not going to tell anyone the gender of their baby.

"We've decided not to share Storm's sex for now--a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime (a more progressive place? ...),"

People might figure out the gender of your kid when they decide to drop diaper and piss on the wall.

"In fact, in not telling the gender of my precious baby, I am saying to the world, 'Please can you just let Storm discover for him/herself what s (he) wants to be?!." she wrote in an email.


Where did they get this idea? from a book called X: A Fabulous Child's Story. It turns out not to be a scientific study like Project Nim. It's a 52 page kid book about a kid who nobody knows the gender. I don't know if I want to take parenting tips from pure fiction. I got into enough problems when I sought advice from Jean Genet's Our Lady of the Flowers for gardening tips.

don't they understand they've now eliminated the grandmothers from diaper and babysitting? or maybe they're saying they weren't happy with what the grandmothers did when given the chance to watch their first two kids?

"The couple's other two children, Jazz and Kio, haven't escaped their parents' unconventional approach to parenting. Though they're only 5 and 2, they're allowed to pick out their own clothes in the boys and girls sections of stores and decide whether to cut their hair or let it grow.

"Both boys are "unschooled," a version of homeschooling, which promotes putting a child's curiosity at the center of his or her education. As Witterick puts it, it's "not something that happens by rote from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. weekdays in a building with a group of same-age people, planned, implemented and assessed by someone else."

While my Raised By Wolves method of childcare is rather open about things, there are periods when you have to bare your fangs and let them know things have to go your way. You can't buy whatever clothes you want. Otherwise we'd all be wearing pimpsuits at age 4 - cause of the flashy colors and slick gators. And you do have to teach them things they might not want to know. Otherwise how will they win enough money for retirement on Jeopardy?

here's the article. Turns out they're in Toronto.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20110524/ts_yblog_thelookout/parents-keep-childs-gender-under-wraps

I'm thinking when Josie says, "Tickle," it's her version of LOL.

No Steps

We're in the process of getting a house since we need the space. Little kids take up way too much space. They're like the Jack Russell terriers of people. The good part is we have gone with a ranch house since I'm kinda fearing this fearless child at the top of a staircase. Now she can run around like a maniac and my only fear is her head pinballing off the walls.

Better Slogan

Nick Jr. - It's like Preschool without the disease

My Little Moe

As we sat on the sofa this morning, Josie said, "Make up" and hit me in the face with a pillow. My baby understands slapstick. Shes' not even two and is already dishing out the classics. It's like she's Josie Besser.

Kid book

Go the Fuck to Sleep by Adam Mansbach is already a hit as an "adult" kids book. which hasn't even come out. I'm wondering if I should do a similar kids book

"Baby, You're Doomed" - which will be 32 pages of reminding the kid how their future is rather bleak. The spiraling cost of healthcare and college along with the dwindling number of high paid jobs. The Jersey Shore cast remaining stars. Terrorists around every corner that isn't occupied by a sexual predator. Oh the bleakness grows every day. The final chapters will remind them that if Mayan Doomsday hits, that might be a positive thing.

Trick or Treat

One should always plan ahead for holidays especially Halloween so you can have time to get the right father-kid costume. This year we're going as the stars of Lone Wolf and Cub aka Baby Cart Shogun assassin movie series. When Josie gets Daigoro's haircut, I'll paste her clipped hairs onto my head so I can look like Ogami Ittō. Now I have to make a wooden babycart complete with hidden guns and knives. It's going to rock.

Timing

Before you taking your walking child out to public places, you need to figure out the maximum closing distance. How quickly can you grab them - like a cornerback sizes up a wide receiver. Cause you can't afford to let them score a touchdown.

not rocko

For the second time while watching TV, Josie got upset. This time it was when Elmo lost Rocko - the rock friend of Zoey. The other time she got upset was a blanket that Elmo loses in Elmo in Grouchland. For a kid who gets so emotional when things get lost on TV, she doesn't seem to care when she drops stuff in random places.

Space is the Place

is it wrong that when we were house hunting, I was more interested in where to put my DVDs than the size of the Josie's potential room?

ouch - her edition

Josie wanted to ride in another family's shopping cart at the BJs. It was one of carts with a car in the front so the kids can think they're driving. When Becky went down to pull Josie out, the kid flailed like a hooked swordfish. She headbutted the wife so hard between the eyes that Becky saw stars. She got a mild concussion. Now Becky is feeling like Eric Lindros around the house.

Is this what's considered elder abuse? Where's the charity for victims of toddler violence?

I'm warning all of you parents - your babies can lay a beating on you. I'm so fearful what Josie will do to us at K-Mart.