Hands off the Bird!

Mitt Romney declared that if he's president, Big Bird will be covered in advertising like a NASCAR racer.

Disgusting.

Is there nothing this man can't touch with his greedy corporate hotdog stinking fingers? Maybe we should stick advertising on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir? Would Mitt like Brigham Young pushing hot dogs and boner pills on TV? Or would that be wrong to him?

Big Bird is a sacred figure in American life. Big Bird is more respected than any politician.

Corporations are not people. Big Bird is not Mitt's whore.

It's over?

Now I can't put the kid to bed with the Christmas music channel. Now she's back to turning the dial to the gangster rap action.

Carols for the new kids

If you want to get the kids excited about the holiday, why not share a little King Diamond with them?

Memories

I'm already missing my 3 1/2 hours of silence when the kid is away at pre-school. Memoriessssssss.

Christmas' War on Me

So the preschool has shut down for 2 weeks for the holidays. What holiday can there be that doesn't give me my sanity breaks? Scrooge had the right idea.

Gimme the Mic

Josie did more damage to her Preschool's Christmas Pageant than an roomful of ACLU Lawyers. She became obsessed with the microphone that was left in the manager. She would sneak away, grab it and attempt to sing. It was turned off between introductions so there wasn't too much damage that way.

What stunk was I had so many people blocking my view that I won't be able to win all the cash at America's Funniest Home Videos.

Santa torture

Is it wrong that it feels so right to threaten the kid that Santa won't be visiting if she's bad? I've become a parent.

Instead of coal, I prefer to say that if the kid doesn't act better, all Santa will bring is her 4th Glow Worm doll.

Great Debate

Josie and I had our first big argument - who would win in a fight between Super Martian Robot Girl and Word Girl? She said Super Martian Robot Girl since she's super, from Mars and a robot. But Word Girl is the right answer. Word Girl actually fights villains whereas SMRG discovers her enemies are merely misunderstood. Also Word Girl has Captain Huggy Face - and we know that monkeys are vicious in a fight.

Coffee Mug Time

Here I was thinking Josie's temper tantrums that include screaming at the top of her lungs and throwing stuff around the room was merely her preparing to be the greatest regional manager ever. Leave to NPR to pop my bubble.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/12/05/143062378/whats-behind-a-temper-tantrum-scientists-deconstruct-the-screams?sc=fb&cc=fp

Warning Notices

The kid immediately grabs a plastic box, climbs inside and puts the lid on top. The side of the box warns about kids not using it as a playtoy, but why didn't they write it so that a 2 year old will get the message?

For those panicked parents, we didn't allow her to seal the lid.