Mall Girl

The wife, her mother and grandmother took Josie to the mall this afternoon for a little shopping trip. I swear I smelt Orange Julius on her breath.

Teasing The Baby

Twice we took the baby out for lunch and dinner and both times it was a seafood joint. She had to sit there and watch me eat shrimp without a single one going in her mouth. Damn people who know better saying I shouldn't give her seafood until she's old enough to fish or dangle off a hook as bait.

Ouch

Cats and babies have the same idea on how to walk you up - put their paws on your face.

I'm that old?

The Manchester City - Liverpool game is on. So for fun I go to youtube to pull up the Stone Roses video of "Fools Gold." She's dancing around when it strikes me that this song is way old. How old? If my parents had been playing Rock Around the clock when I was her age - Fools Gold would still be an older song by a several years.

In order to not feel too old in my taste, I hunted down Kei$a's Tik-Tok although I'm not sure what she means by only wanting guys who look like Mick Jagger. Which Mick Jagger? The young guy of "Satisfaction." the satin shirt guy of the Mick Taylor era. Or the elderly guy who only looks young by hanging next to a shirtless Keith Richards?

Why would you think that?

So I mention that I'm a stay at home dad and this person asks, "So you change her diapers?" I told them nope. Either I just let her sit around for 10 hours until the wife gets home or if it gets too stinky, I take her down to the mall and ask some nice lady to take the baby into the restroom to change her diaper - cause what's a dad know about diapers.

So Limited

While scanning the baby food jars at the Harris-Teeter, I noticed how limited they are in offerings. Not one jar listed Babyback Ribs, Lobster Newberg or Chilled Monkey Brains. How am I supposed to raise a child on mushy peas

what would be next

She's getting big, but I can still put her into "hat timeout" when necessary. Basically I just balance her on top of my head for a few seconds. She calms down. But what will I do when she gets too much for my neck. Maybe I should hire a former offensive lineman to borrow his head.