For your listening pleasure

Seems the baby prefers the studio version of Led Zeppelin versus the bootleg live versions since she loses patience with Jimmy Page's extended solos on No Quarter. Guess that's just expected when she's still sucking down formula.

It fits

One of our constant activities is charting Josie's growth on a kitten blanket knitted by my grandmother. We also put her in a knitted bottom that was huge when we first put it on her after bringing her home from the hospital, Last night we took the pic and she fit in the bottoms. It'll be interesting to see how long she can keep wearing 'em. We'll just have to lay them on top of her as we follow along her size progress.

happy bday

josie is now 5 months old. her feet nearly dangle from her car seat.

has it really been five months since I could sleep without keeping an ear open

Hotdogs

Took the baby to Snoopys for 99 cent hotdog day. We wen to dine with Becky and co-workers. It is amazing how she'll sit on Becky's knee, put her hands on the table and stare around. She's very social for a kid who can't communicate. She does seem interested in the conversation. She'll probably end up on a bunch of lame boards where this sort of talent comes in useful.

the day is

with Josie dealing with both teething and an upcoming growth spurt, our day consists of Crying, Drinking Milk, Sleeping and Screaming Bloody Murder. Thank goodness I lost my hearing watching the Circle Jerks back in '85 or I'd be hurting.

Veggie Poop

We are using up a few of the freebie formula cans just to get rid of baby can clutter (as if that will ever happen). After months of Similac Advance, we broke out a can of the Soy Similac. Amazingly enough it has stopped the exploding poop that bursts out of the top of the diaper. So there's no clean up ugliness. The bad news is that soy based poop is a dark green and smells like a morgue after five days without power in the middle of the summer. It's vile to the nth degree. This is what Gitmo detainees fear being subjected to (along with REM's Shiny Happy People on repeat).

I guess in the greater scale of it all - it's easier to clean these atomic bomb diapers instead of spending a lot of time cleaning off the baby and her soiled outfits. On the negative side - I think years are being sucked out of my nose.

Baby Doofus

Just read that Disney is being forced to take back all the educational claims on their Baby Einstein DVDs. Forcing your Baby to watch TV of stupid puppets don't make them any smarter than those of us who grew up watching the Banana Splits. Although we know how to yell, "Hold the Bus!"

kids!

Soupy Sales died last night and when I told Josie of his his passing, she just gave me that "like I know what you're saying" look. Doesn't this child have a sense of history? It's like everything outside of balloon boy happened before she was born.

beanballs

Baby is learning to get things away from her. She's semi-tossing stuff. I'm getting fearful for the day she realizes she can throw a beanball at her old man. Might just have to break out my old goalie mask to protect the noggin. Will Social Services take me away and put me in with a foster family if my baby beats me up?

ouch her gums

The kid is now hitting nasty notes when her gums hurt. I ought to be letting her listen to old Einstürzenden Neubauten albums. Blixa would be so impressed at the range and her ability to maintain it.

would it be good to use rubber cement to keep the diaper from having top gap explosions?

ahhhhh

is there a tip for preventing diaper poop blow ups

Day I Took the Baby to the Liquor Store

More Veggies

So we've started to introduce solid food to the kid. The book says to start with veggies because after she gets a taste for sweet stuff, she'll be hooked and not like good for her bland stuff that doesn't have that sugar kick. We started with sweet potatoes than butternut squash. Next to be tossed into the bullet mixer after we boil it down shall be green beans. Mmmmm.

I hate to sound like some hippie with the make the kid her own food vibe, but the price of those little Gerber bottles is rather steep after a while - especially since the kid won't come close to finishing one for a while. So for now she'll think we're a family of Jolly Green Giants.

that sound

the baby will look at us when we say "Psssssst."

why does this sound have such an effect? will she be distracted by deflating tires

Bite Me, Texan

The other day Dr. Phil has an episode about working mothers versus stay at home mothers. Why? How 20th Century. Where's the piece on Stay at Home Dads? How about guys whose jobs have tanked and found themselves watching the kids cause it's cheaper to stay at home than fork up the cash for daycare with the jobs being offered to take the place of careers in limbo?

I seem to find more stay at home dads in that situation. If you factor in taxes and social security and other withholdings, you have to earn $24K to pay for decent child care. Even more if you send the kid to a private pre-school. So you stay at home and you teach the kid the simple things in life.

Where's Dr. Phil on this real subject? Or is he afraid I'll give him more than he can handle and would rather play it safe with a played out topic. Tomorrow on Dr. Phil: Where to Squeeze the Toothpaste.

Warning

The CDC will put my baby on warning for her constant desire to share bodily fluids.

things I don't do

In England the reported that over half of SIDS cases come from parents sleeping bed or on the sofa with their baby. Now I'm happy that mom screamed at me for doing that. I'll still let Josie sleep on me, but if I get sleepy, I'll stick her in her crib or playpen. I don't want a flat baby.

baby wasn't too impressed with her first exposure to Elmo

send earplugs

turns out at four months, the baby is having her teeth come in. She's screaming so loud that it's upsetting my next door neighbor Dr. Moreau. It's the house of pain here.

nice news

we've passed the point where we can have Irish twins

The baby likes to look at the TV during football. Does she like the game or is confused by the helmets?

ZYXs

Hmmm

Sometimes when I'm staring at the baby, I expect her to break character and start talking normal English instead of blathering. Most of these occasions, Josie merely opens her mouth and pukes on me. Maybe it's her way of telling me to maintain the code.

Life Skills

Guinea Pig

took Josie to Duke for a study if she could notice different Japanese words. she did good. she's ready to watch more Godzilla flicks

Back

There's a strange thing when you bring a 4 month old back home after she's been gone for a few days. She doesn't directly tell you that "I'm home!" She just gives a look that says, "Now this is how I expect it."

morning wake up

even without the baby, I found myself waking up at 5:30 a.m. and wondering why she wasn't screaming for a couple seconds.

a night off

The mother in law is watching the baby up at the lake. I have a night to just unwind and let my arms recover from five days of rocking her. I'd probably be heartbroken and missing Josie except I'm too pooped from her waking up at 5:30 a.m. I'll miss her when I'm well rested.