This article explains the entire Disney Princess business and everything we have to touch at Toys R Us and the Disney Store.
http://www.bloomberg.com/features/2015-disney-princess-hasbro/

I've been told that my daughter was singing Taylor Swift.

I'm a failure as a parent.

I just want to enjoy the holiday week with my daughter.

I have never been more capable to receive and give love than now.

In order to make the Christmas holiday more enjoyable, we shall be celebrating Christmas on Christmas Eve. Next year she wants to celebrate Hanukkah with me. Neither of us are Jewish so it will probably be a awkward as our trip to the ice skating rink. it's about the experience.

Josie and I begin watching I Am Big Bird the documentary about Carroll Spinney. The film is rather rough and no happy muppet-like. They go into how Carroll's first wife. How she didn't care about his work and just was vicious to him. Carroll had a younger daughter too. Both of us cry. We have to take a break from the film since we found ourselves relating too much.

She's upset at me because I won't come to lunch today. But it's such a long trip. I basically would drop her off to school. Spend barely an hour at home before getting back in the car to drive up for lunch. Come back home for barely an hour and drive back up to get her after school. It's 4 1/2 hours on the road for the day.

I feel bad that I can't easily join her for lunch.

It is hard to believe in the love of the baby Jesus and the wonder of the Holy family when for the third straight year, I don't get to share Christmas dinner with my daughter.

Christmas miracles are for old people who can't get enough of lame Hallmark movies.

Beanbag time would have been so much better than sofa time since there's not feeling of being schmushed against the back. Relaxing instead of feeling trapped.

You know what makes life better? A massive beanbag that's perfect for two people.

I do not like it when in the midst of my uncertain future, demands are made on my time as if I'm in control of the clock.

Tonight I took her to see Disney On Ice for what I think was our fourth time. She swears we've seen if five times. When I bought the tickets in the Spring, I had no idea of where I would be on December 9th. If I would be around. If I would have her that night. But it was so important that we be together and enjoy the fun. It is a good memory she will have. It is a good memory that I will have.

I can never be jealous of a job that puts me on the road five days. I like the fact that I was able to shape my work time so that I am free all the time that I regularly have my daughter. She is my priority.

I would not describe myself as being depressed over the last decade. People remember me for being quiet and wandering off to watch TV in another room. This was true. But I wasn't depressed. If anything, I just was unimpressed by the people I ended up associating, Many were horrible people who spent most of their time causing drama. Why did we keep hanging out with a couple where both of them did things to us that should have had them shunned? The best thing about a new start is the ability to make new friends since its quite obvious at this point that I don't miss any of the people that we used to have to waste weekends hanging out with and thinking somehow we were part of their inner circle. I'm much happier wandering around museums with my daughter than tolerating the company of dullards and drama queens.

Tonight my daughter told me that our family consists of me, her and blankie. That's a modern family by all definitions.

Had to explain to daughter that among Christmas songs, Nativity In Black by Black Sabbath rarely gets sung at Midnight mass.

Trust is what matters most. You merely have infatuation instead of love if there's no trust between the two of you.

I want this Christmas to be happier than the last few years when it seemed to be about misery and spending more time driving than just enjoying the day.

Felt odd putting together the  Christmas photo book and calendar without trying to make her happy with the selections. It's a year of watching my daughter going through a lot more than I could have handled at her age.

Being a single parent means having to battle the monsters under the bed alone.

Someday this pain will be useful to you.

-part of last night's Walking Dead. it rings close to my home.

During this holiday weekend, I feel grateful for all the change that has happened to me. Those few things that have remained constant I hold precious. Nothing stays the same forever. There are things worse than what has happened to me. So it is a year worth giving thanks.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for my daughter and that the last year has been an extremely interesting time and next year looks to be exciting on so many levels.

If I trust someone, I will listen to them. I never want to lose trust in my daughter.

Josie enjoyed waking up and seeing all the record crates ready to ship. It's good to have unique visions before breakfast that will eventually be transformed into memories. It's better than the mundane ordinary day that greets her in a bowl of cereal.

Off for my first major meeting on the VR Project. I want this to happen so that I can provide for my family. I need to do more than merely punch the clock. I need to create the clock that others punch. When a kid asks Josie what her dad does, I want her to say, "He peels apart the fabric of time and space and lets me peek through."

I smile every time my daughter asks me about playing in a band in the '80s. It's hard to make your kid think you're cool. She keeps wanting to hear my music now.

After two years on the testosterone treatment (going from gel to injections to the bead implants), I have stopped. It has been nearly three months since I was supposed to have the next round of implants.

I really don't feel a difference. The fact that my testosterone levels never really improved makes me question if the changes in me where from me and not chemically induced. Did I just have an amazing placebo effect? Granted I needed some sort of effect when I started treatment as everything around me was falling apart. We do need something to keep from panicking. Perhaps the anxieties are gone because I no longer have to trust those who were constantly lying to me. People who faked so much around me. In return I no longer have to excuse their behaviors. I can recognize them for what they are and what they will always be. It is sad when you've had to mark off a period of time as a decade of frauds.

I am still confident. I am still driven. I am still not willing to just slink away. I don't feel stuck. I can dream of a future again and make steps to make it happen. These are qualities my daughter must also have.

When you can't trust someone; you really can't listen to them. What's the point? All they are doing is telling you a story in hopes you'll believe it when you know the facts are so different. Communication exists when you trust the other person.

I feel my heart pounding when I try to get to sleep. Trying to calm my blood pressure down, but it just seems to be an endless elevating circle of tension. The fears of what will happen to my daughter if I was to die. Which speeds things up. I be here as much as possible for her when I can be with her.

How do I reason with a child her entire view of life has been torn apart? This week she told me that she's doesn't believe in Santa and explained to me that her uncle is dying. At six years old, she barely harbors any fantasies. Even those she does, she tells me are made up TV stories.

Blood pressure is as bad as it was two years ago. I live in fear of having a stroke or heart attack while driving my daughter to school since we're on that road around 90 minutes a day. The emotional stress of the last two years hasn't let up. Also doesn't help that my work shift let me get home until 4 am. Nothing seems to let up. I will have to lose more weight, work out more and stop drinking coffee.

This wasn't supposed to end like this.