early nurse call

We have an 8 a.m. appointment to see the ob-gyn nurse. I guess this is to get the "things you need to do while you're pregnant" talk. There goes having becky working the scrum on my midnight rugby team. I'm going along to be the good husband. Although at this moment, I get the feeling of being sent to the principal's office. What did I do this time? I've got another 6 1/2 months of this fun on the schedule.

I hate these things. I don't think the medical profession has ever forgiven me for calling them "Hi Tech Witch Doctors." Skip showed me a film that explained to highway patrolmen how to deliver babies in the backseat of their cars. All I have to do is make sure the baby doesn't fall onto the floor. Cavepeople had babies. Why do we over-complicate a natural process?

Waking up to face the nurse....at least she won't be probing my butt on this trip. I'm going to feel so guilty even with the "compassionate husband" attitude. All this could have been prevented if I'd just given her The CarrotTop treatment.

Becky said this is the week that the child chooses its gender. I'm trying to encourage the fetus to be a boy by pointing out that as a son, he gets a cool name with a numeral. Worked for me.

Lost Excuse

They never tell you the one bad part about not smoking: you lose an escape clause.

At no point when the pressure of the pregnancy get to me am I allowed to tell Bec, "I'm going down to the corner to buy a pack of cigarettes." Which of course is code for, "See if you can find me when I split for Brazil!"

She'll know I'm trying to flee and will lock the door before my Lucky Strike lie can catch fire.

The CDs

Before I met Bec, I had a massive collection of CDs. I'm not sure how many, but it's got to be over 2,000. They pretty much dominated my old living room in Winston-Salem. When I moved in with Becky, they took over the front bedroom. Becky didn't like the piles of music so she first got these giant bags to stash them away under the guest bed and other spaces. Then she bought plastic boxes. They are now piled up to the ceiling in a corner of the room. Because they are piled that way, I rarely dig through to get a CD. It's too much of a hassle.

Of course now that the kid is on the way, we have to make space. No baby wants to live in dad's record room. I'm going to take them up to the father-in-law's place since he's got space that I can turn into the vault. But Bec's hinting I should sell them on Craigslist or ebay. I can use the money to buy an HDTV. Our friend Brandy is doing this.

I can't. First off a majority of the collection is from the BMG record club. I used to hustle the crap out of the 12 for 1 deal. So right off the bat they're worthless to collectors. Also what's the point in wasting that much time having to go to the post office to send somebody their dollar disc? I don't want to have to deal with mailing all that crap.

Plus what if my kid has good taste. i'm going to save him thousands of dollars in buying music. Or avoid me getting nailed for his music downloading.He can use the old man's cds to have a really great iPod.

I can't unload my CDs. I spent 23 years collecting them through various ways. They were my first children. And who the hell would want my complete Undertones collection?

#2

I feel kinda sad knowing that watching the Boston Redsox win the World Series is in jeopardy of moving down "happiest day of my life" list.

ah the costs

So the OB-GYN office called to let us know that before our first visit next week, Becky should call to talk about our insurance benefits.

Hopefully our policy covers the heavy work.

Butterbeans for Butterbean!

Decided that tonight for dinner, I'm cooking up Butterbeans. We'll see if they agree with Butterbean.

Bec can't stand the taste of toothpaste. it gets her sick. Now I have to find something that she can scrub with. Why do kids cause so many problems?

them baby names

if the kid is a boy, he'll get the Joe IV name. But we figured a good nickname for him is Gaston - since we're guessing that's where he was conceived.