Her changing face

An interesting thing about babies is that their faces do change a bit after birth. Mostly from fattening up with the milk/formula. Josie is looking less like me and more like Elizabeth Taylor. Thankfully she's not even looking close to Michael Jackson.

Drinking Deep

Josie seems to be ready to graduate to the bigger bottles. She's downing them one after the other and than passing out. It's like she's getting ready for college life.

the sitter

We let Becky's mom watch Josie while we went off to a wedding in Durham. She didn't merely come over, but I put the babyseat in her car so she could take Josie back to her hotel. We were meeting up later for someone's surprise birthday dinner. As much as I hate being away from Josie, I didn't go worry wart about being away from her. i didn't call constantly on the cellphone. I enjoyed the little respite. We took a nap after the wedding and before the dinner. I was happy see Josie at the restaurant.

Am I a bad dad for not going nuts and calling every few minutes? Or do I just realize that the kid can take care of herself or at least sleep through such things? I do fear the kid would go nuts on the mini-bar. those booze bottles are baby-sized.

Today I catch Josie using my computer. She's online gambling. I ask her how much she's lost.

"You don't officially lose until the credit card is maxed out, daddy."

She's so cute when she explains her outlook on life. She swears she's got a winning system.

sleep?

last night after she slept from 9:30 p.m. to 1:30 a.m., she refused to sleep longer than 10 minutes a pop. she finally has conked out at 4 p.m. i'm back to zombie dad

Tony Montana babies

We've decided to no longer buy Similac in the formula bottles and just stick with the powder. The baby doesn't seem to notice the change. She slurps away.

Except at night while I'm mixing up and shaking the bottle, I ponder what would happen if the baby just went direct on the powder? Should I fear waking up in the middle of the night and catching Josie cutting lines of Similac with a BabiesRUs gift card on Air's "Moon Safari" CD?

I'm deaf

I fear for the future of my hearing. Josie has this ability to scream so loud she's hitting notes that the Opera school would outlaw for fear of sterilizing dogs. How loud will she get as a toddler when she finally wants things other than bottle, diaper change or to be held? Please tell me that this force will not be used in the hopes of obtaining Dora the Explorer crap.

I am taking fate in my own hands during the day as I teach her to grab stuff. It is a necessary skill. I dangle a set of linked rings over her hands. She's slowly learning to grab them instead of batting them. Soon she'll be snagging dollars out of my wallet - if there are any in there.

I'm raising the wrong baby!

I just read that Lisa Marie Presley was paying the nanny watching her newborn $650 a day, free food and a bedroom in her mansion. I'm giving it away to my child. Right now I could be billing $60K for my expert daddy daycare to Elvis' daughter. Josie better be happy that daddy took a massive paycut to raise her instead of the princess of Graceland. I wonder if the nanny got to go upstairs at Graceland? I'd watch that kid for free if I could use the upstairs toilet that Elvis died upon. That's an experience worth $60K.

the streak continues

Three straight nights of dumping Josie off in the crib and sleeping in my own bed with the wife. I can't remember the last time this has happened. However I fear the streak might come to an end and I'll be watching Three's Company at 4 a.m. She's been nodding off all day. Babies supposedly sleep 15 hours a day at age 3 months. Little did I know those 9 hours awake start at midnight.

Why exactly is it wrong to mix Red Bull with formula during the day?

New Theme for Fall!

In order to get Josie to understand the system, I've got a new theme for this Fall season: Daytime is Playtime!

This is better than my first choice - Open Your Eyes Or I Break Out My Clockwork Orange Props

Semi-sleeping alone

so last night we stuck Josie in her crib while we slept in our own bed. Sure we woke up now and then to take care of her. But it felt good to give a little space between us. And remind her that she needs to be in her bed when the sun is down.

operation nudge

today i won't let the baby take long naps so she'll sleep at night. I'm going Gitmo on her diaper

not the baby

as a kid in the early 70s, we'd hear stories of the drugged up babysitter that cooked the baby. now Sears has tapped into that nightmare:

http://www.tmz.com/2009/08/20/the-perfect-grill-for-a-cannibal/

The department store is currently offering a grill on their website under the categories, "Human Cooking > Grills to Cook Babies and More > Body Part Roaster."

I don't want to grill my baby or even poach her with white wine.

A Night Time Blessing

Josie wakes up around 4 a.m. which meant another night of Three's Company with Mr. Farley's fashionable wardrobe. She doesn't want to go back to sleep. Around 6:30 a.m. Becky wakes up for the morning shift. Right before the handover, Josie just unload the vomit on dad. It's like a nice "remember me in your dreams" moment.

Baby Crack

Josie is addicted to staring at mobiles. We got these three bears that dangle above her playpen that she'll lock onto. She gets excited when they twirl around. The only problem is that it's a handcrank so every three minutes, I have to re-crank the mobile. Does she know that daddy makes things go around and around to the music? Or is it merely a coincidence to her?

tumble for you

I get a sense that Josie can roll completely over now, but she just doesn't like to be on her belly. I have to now remember to use pillows as bumper guards when I stick her on the sofa or bed. In the Soviet Union, she'd already be part of a gymnastics program at this age.

Back to Mono

We let her hair dry without combing it. Right now it's sticking straight up so she looks like Phil Spector in the courtroom with that static electricity afro.

Speedy Delivery

Friday afternoon I took Josie over to Durham to meet one of my childhood idols - Mr. McFeely from Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. He was the mailman who probably taught me the joy go getting boxes from postal workers. He was doing a reading. A few years back he had come to a kid museum in Greensboro. I couldn't see him then since the rule was adults couldn't get into the place without a kid bringing them. Guess that cuts down on the child abductors. But this time, I had a baby and I wasn't going to back down. He was a nice guy to the kids. At the start of his time, he asked if any of the kids wanted to sing a song for the group. Josie didn't raise her hand even though by now she must have memorized the best of the Free Design. He brought out the puppets for Owl and King Friday.

During his talk with the kids, he talked about how happy he was to be their TV friend. And it struck me how rare it is to have TV Friends anymore. Do any of those creeps that get face time on VH1 and MTV really want to be TV Friends? Judges on TV aren't really our friends because they won't have your back if you get dragged on their shows. Talkshow hosts aren't friends since they just want to exploit the freakshow elements and make their guests cry. There are only a few people that you feel would be friendly if you bumped into them at an airport that they'd be nice to you. That they wouldn't turn into self-centered jerks without the cameras. That if you weren't a guest, you'd be brushed off like dirt. Or their so famous that they're surrounded by goons and weasels forming a protective coating around them - like Miley Cyrus and Handy Manny. Right now the list of modern TV friends is reduced down to Al Roker and the folks on Ace of Cakes.

It was so nice to finally meet Mr. McFeely. He posed with Josie and we joked how she's going to appreciate this moment and the picture 5 years from now when she's old enough to understand Mr. Rogers.

Outlaw Review: JOHNSON'S® BEDTIME BATH

While this stuff does get Josie a little relaxed, she doesn't sleep all night. maybe she needs to just soak in it

She's Not Catching On

Josie has been living in the house for over two months and still she doesn't understand that on Jeopardy you have to answer the question in the form of a question.

Outlaw Review: Butt Paste

I like the Butt Paste simply because the name tells you exactly what to do with the product. And at 3 a.m. - the less thinking involved with a product, the better it is. All baby stuff should be geared towards the sleep deprived.

Outlaw Review: Parenting Magazine

here's another product plug in defiance of the motherbloggers:

Now my bathroom reading mainly consists of Parenting Magazine. I'm not sure how much of a help the advice is, but I do enjoy looking at the ads for various cool things. Lots of Elmo related stuff. Mostly I imagine how Josie will destroy them. She hasn't destroyed anything yet. She mostly will puke on things - but that can be fixed with a few squirts of Resolve. I like having that squirt bottle nearby. Although you should never put a baby on the sofa without a clothe diaper behind its head. The minute you forget it - out comes the formula.

The best part of Parenting is they offered a really cheap rate after you get the first few issues free via a Babiesrus offer.

Breaking the Silence: For Munchkins

Part of the CNN article said: "Trisha Haas, founder of blogging community MomDot.com, organized another campaign to free bloggers who feel inundated by PR requests and overwhelmed with product reviews. MomDot's "PR Blackout" asks mommy bloggers to go one week -- beginning Monday -- without writing about products or services."

Well I'm breaking the silence this Monday! The Munchkin Bottle Warmer is a great time saver when it comes to getting formula out of the fridge. We use it all the time and it takes just a few minutes to get the formula warm enough for the baby without making the Similac too damn hot. Josie seems to have learned that the steaming noise means the bottle is getting cooked. The Off beat gets her excited. She knows that supper is ready and that Dad understands her needs.

It was given to us as a baby shower gift. Make sure you register for one.

Where's the Dad Blog action?

Today in CNN is a piece on Mom Blogs that are in the pocket of the babycare industry. It's about how these woman might be over praising products since they get 'em for free.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/08/10/mommy.bloggers.ethics/index.html

I make a promise to you that I'm not on the take (at this moment). At no point have I praised anything that wasn't a baby shower gift or purchased with a coupon. I'm not on that take....mainly because nobody has put me on the take.

I won't sign an ethics pledge that these mombloggers have embraced. Cause I don't need to go along with the herd. I'm a Dad Blogging here. They want to have their purity pledge, go ahead. But what's the point? If Big Baby Business knocks on my door to have me try out their new Mini-Van for 5 years, I'm going to take it. And the same with Pampers giving me a bunch of free diapers. I will promise to let you know that it was sent to me to try it out on my guinea pig baby.

I'm still disgusted at how these Momblogs don't seem to care about the stay at home dad. Time to take the baby to Hooters for her hot wing formula.

How Long in the Car Seat?

Josie is one of those sleep in the car babies. So when I bring her home, I just keep her in the car seat and let her continue slumbering. Why don't they make a crib with car seat straps and a little rumble to the mattress?

It's The Party of a Lifetime

My nephew Will turned 3 and they had a birthday party complete with dozens of little kids. Normally I abhor such affairs as the munchkins go wild. But well holding Josie on my lap, i realized this will be my fate for a while - I will have to watch the kid go wild. It won't be at least 6 more years before I can dump and run at her friends' birthdays. For now I will have to smile and make small talk with fellow parents.

The nice thing is getting to see how kids act that certain age groups. Three seems to be a good age for them being mobile and communicating.

The First Rule of Baby Fighting

Last night was dad's birthday dinner. Matt brought over Will and his baby Jacob. Since there was only one pack n play, we stuck the babies in it during dinner. My joke became a reality when Josie and Jacob began Baby Fighting. It wasn't much of a fight as Josie used her feet to smoosh Jacob against the side. Luckily it didn't get too nasty outside of their arms getting tangled.

Is there places in America that keep secret baby fighting rings? It's more fun than dog fighting.

dunked

had the baby baptized this afternoon. Since Josie had stayed up all night, she slept through the entire ceremony - even getting spritzed with the Holy Water didn't ruin her slumber. we stuck her into my old Christening dress. She was not impressed at getting the vintage treatment.

cousin visiting

We decided against taking the baby to Hooters since I don't think she's ready for a plateful of hotwings and she stinks as a designated driver.

i must remind myself that taking pictures of the baby snuggling a bottle of Jack Daniels can be used against me.

hmmmm

Instead of Baby Mozart DVD, I want to get Josie a copy of Baby Eno

and you are....

why do the put cartoon characters on newborn baby diapers? Josie has zero clue about Elmo. even weirder is she can't bend over to look at the sesame street babies at her waist. it does help me since at 4 a.m., I know which side is front. But if it is for me, why not pictures of Aqua Teen Hunger Force on the tiny diapers? Josie needs to poop inside Master Shake.

odds of sleep

i want to have her asleep by 2 am. need to trick her into thinking it's 8 am. must run old video of Al roker

vampire baby diaries

Josie pretty much took a minor nap and decided to stay up until 11 p.m. until maybe 6 a.m. it's not like she wants to stay up to do anything besides stare at me and cry if left alone. I could understand if she's in grip mode and wants to play with things.

At first I wondered if she's the reincarnation of my old archive boss Ray Regis. Ray never slept at night. We used to joke at the film school when people asked when he'd be in his office. "When you don't see the sun." But he'd eventually get into the office around 2 p.m. Josie wants to sleep until 5 p.m. when mom gets up.

Today I kept randomly waking her up to be a pest and give her a dose of my medicine. But I don't think she's quite capable of understanding reverse psychology or mirror reactions.

hmmmm

I think Josie has lost that new baby smell.

The Lights

The baby likes staring at multi-colored lights. She's fascinated by the colored glass around the main light in the living room. I keep thinking about getting one of those weird light boxes that twirls images of fish around the room. They look so cool in the movies. Except I realize they mostly get used in movies where the kid gets abducted from their bedroom. This might not be a good addition to the room.

Vampire Baby

Once more Josie decided the hours between 1 a.m. and 4 a.m. are meant for partying. Why must I have the Paris Hilton of babies. She's making us all late for bedtime. luckily it was Sunday morning so we were able to sleep until almost 10 a.m. to take advantage of her tiny slumber.

Crib sleeping

Seeing how it's the weekend, we decided to put Josie in the crib for the night since neither of us need to be too awake on Saturday. Amazingly enough she slept most of the night and let mom and dad sleep in the same bed without worrying about squishing her.